My mother took me out to dinner last evening and told me the best joke, which I just had to share:
Five people are on board a small passenger plane. Trouble hits, and the aircraft starts plummeting earthward rapidly. Panic ensues when it becomes apparent that only four parachutes are available for use.
One passenger, Kobe Bryant, leaps up and grabs one of the parachutes. “I am the leader of my team. I have to survive for my teammates, for the fans, and for the benefit of sport!” With that, he opens the hatch and leaps to safety.
Just behind him is Hillary Rodham Clinton. “I have to make it — as Senator, the great state of New York depends on me. And women are expecting me to lead them to victory as the first female president. I have to survive for America’s sake!” She grabs a parachute and jumps from the airplane.
Dubya Bush flails as he grabs the next bundle, pulls it to his chest, and desperately runs for the hatch. “I am leader of the free world, you hear me? I am the most important person on the planet. I must survive!” He turns and hurls himself through the door and into the sky.
The final two passengers, Pope John Paul II and a 10-year-old girl, look at each other.
The Pontiff speaks: “I am old and have lived a long, productive life. You, my child, have your whole life ahead of you. You must jump. Take the last parachute.”
“Uh, Your Holiness,” the girl begins, “there are two parachutes. The most important person in the world grabbed my backpack.”
By the way, it’s All Hallows Eve: Blogcritics has a plethora of fun and spooky holiday-themed readings for you. Make a visit… if you dare. Mwah-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!