Here’s how to play: Go to Google, look up the phrase “[insert your first name] is a” and check out the results. I am loath to Google myself — if you don’t do it with a partner, what’s the point? — but this diversion merited a try. Some choice results:
Natalie is a goddess. [IF IT’S ON GOOGLE, IT’S GOTTA BE TRUE!]
Natalie is a girl going into sixth grade who wants to be an author.
Natalie is a member of Cheerzone All-Star Sparklers Cheerleading competition squad, and she is scheduled to perform at the 2004 Pro Bowl.
Natalie is a challenge to ride, but with time and patience will develop. [AHEM.]
Natalie is a body in motion: clogging, tapping, stepping, skipping, high-kicking, moonwalking and generally bouncing.
Natalie is a former President of Alpha Gamma Delta Women’s Fraternity.
Natalie is a gorgeous tease. [GUILTY AS CHARGED.]
Natalie is a catnip-addicted cat hailing from a large family who disowned her after telling them of her sexual orientation.
Natalie is a bully to the weak inmates.
Natalie is a stunning red-fawn female greyhound with a black mask and white chest blaze. [HEY! WHAT’S WITH ALL THE CRITTERS NAMED NATALIE?]
Natalie is a well-known gay rights activist.
Natalie is a complete orchestra with a massive horns section.
Natalie is a very powerful and important figure in what we broadly call cultural history. [HEH.]
Natalie is a Republican. [WHA-A-A-A-A-T???]
Natalie is a normal kid and is not defined by her diabetes.
Natalie is a classic Machiavellian-conservative. [I AM NOT A CONSERVATIVE!]
Natalie is a twelve-year-old who is unaware of her own magical powers, until she, her stepbrother and their friends are kidnapped by a wizard.
Natalie is a bit of a ditz and has dreams of being a dancer (though she’s not very good).
Natalie is a fine character, but not a great one.
Stunningly, one of these actually was written about me. (Guess.) And some of them could have been. For instance, I happen to be an Alpha Gamma Delta (and former altruism chair for my college’s chapter) and I really am a diabetic. No massive horn section, though.
Anyhoo, it’s your turn. Google yourself and let us know what the search engine says about you!